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Newsflash: Uwe Boll is Nuts.

pussyI am not sure any contributor on this site has even seen an Uwe Boll film, but that wouldn't stop any of us for slamming the weirdo based on his trailers alone.  What's amazing is that Uwe has become the Energizer bunny of terrible filmmaking, and now?  Well now he wants to beat the shit out of you and spit in your face.

Uwe has issued a press release inviting his five harshest internet critics to box him in Vancouver.  The matches will be televised on the internet and might be included in Uwe's next "feature" Postal.  The entire PR stunt sounds sad and crazy, but fortunately I can say anything I want since his opponents are required to be male.  So while I am safe, Harry Knowles will hopefully be called on to defend his opinion in the ring.  Uwe is really hoping Quentin Tarantino and Roger Avary are among the group of opponents.  Why?  I just don't know.  Crazy people always make random decisions like that.  After reading this press release at Skewed and Reviewed, I am surprised that King Kong didn't make it on Uwe's ENEMY LIST.

Hysterical:  Uwe actually lists his harshest IMDB critics in his press release.  Watch out VeeDragon40 and TylerDurden52!  Uwe's coming for you!

Posted by Leather Lass on June 13, 2006 - 8:27am.
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Nina Kincaid's picture
Never underestimate...

Posted by Nina Kincaid on June 13, 2006 - 10:10am.

... a put-upon man.  Reminds of when I watched Fox Celebrity Boxing and they had Screech from Saved By the Bell fight Horseshack from Welcome Back Kotter... Dustin Diamond, aka Screech, apparently became a kickboxer after (I'm sure) having to listen to people mock him for being Screech all those years.  White-haired Ron Palillo (Horseshack), about 50 years old, had no idea what he was getting himself into.  Screech, who was half his age, pummeled him senseless.  Horseshack's eye was swollen, he was in a daze... I'm sure he thought it was for charity or something, and he had no idea he would actually get injured.

Boll may unleash that same kind of Screech-Rage... watch out!

seekshelter's picture
screech is a badass

Posted by seekshelter on June 18, 2006 - 11:21pm.

haha... he's losing is house...

Nina Kincaid's picture
I saw that...

Posted by Nina Kincaid on June 19, 2006 - 9:18am.

What are the odds that I would think about Screech twice in the same week?

seekshelter's picture
boll used to be a boxer...

Posted by seekshelter on June 19, 2006 - 12:03pm.

most movie critics ive ever seen have been overweight and extremely out of shape. this seems like it will be as one sided a fight as the celebrity boxing. it says that there is a weight requirement though, harry falls way outside of that. and looking at tarantino... i dont think the guy has ever been in a fight... on another note, i have seen the game Postal that this movie is going to be based on. its one of those games that upset a lot of people. basically, you are some crazy guy that freaks out one day and goes on a killing spree... that includes old ladies walking down the street... children... and so on.. i dont suggest that anyone actually play this game... i think the makers tried to protect themselves by saying that he wasnt actually killing them... just wounding them... so instead, you get to listen to the cries of the wounded... its pretty brutal stuff

Movie MILF's picture
Hey!

Posted by Movie MILF on June 19, 2006 - 12:22pm.

seekshelter wrote:

most movie critics ive ever seen have been overweight and extremely out of shape.

Excuse me?

seekshelter's picture
of the ones ive seen...

Posted by seekshelter on June 19, 2006 - 1:15pm.

thats really just roger ebert... and i see harry knowles around town alot..

15 more minutes on the Stairmaster

Posted by johnny5 (not verified) on June 19, 2006 - 1:26pm.

It is nice to see that female movie critics, even geek female movie critics can be reduced to 12-year old self conscious girls in one line.

Movie MILF's picture
You wound me, Johnny5!

Posted by Movie MILF on June 19, 2006 - 1:33pm.

You do know what MILF stands for, right?  It's not "Mom Is a Little Flabby," I can tell you that!