Dear Jake,
I am officially over you. We have had some fun and stuff, and you have totally sexy biceps. And when we went to Lake Tenkiller with your parents last summer, that was totally like one of the best times ever. But here's the real deal. I have met someone else. Look, you are cute in your own way and all, but this guy? Man he's all tall and dark and handsome.
Oh and he can lift a super yacht over his head.
Who he is just isn't that important, but know he wants the best for me. And really the whole stinking world, I guess. That's the only drawback. I have to share him with everyone. But I bet it's not as bad as sharing you with your team (especially that lout Tippen). So anyway, I guess this is it. You can see a picture of my new beau right here:
And you can think this work of art on those beautiful bastards at IGN Filmforce.
Look. Don't make this harder than it is. My new boyfriend can totally melt you with his eyes.
Yours in Spirit,
Samantha the Cheerleader
PS - Jake, I am just kidding, and Tippen: you know I love you, bra! Smooches.
