So my day began in this way, all right? Jake holds up the weekly paper and points to an advertisement for Jackass Number Two and then says, "This is what you get for making me see that Super Queer movie." Ugh. I had no response because he totally didn't want to see Superman Returns, and he never stopped making fun of it ever. He still does, and I tell him it's not even cool to make fun of it at this point, but I think he does it to get under my skin. PLUS, he did really good on the field yesterday and my thinking is that he and his fat bra Tippen deserve some fun time. So I agreed, but I was all like "oooooooo. kkkaaaaaaay."
No let's clear things up, all righty? You didn't have to see any of the first Jackass in order to watch this sequel. Few plot points from the first movie carried over to this one. Also, I don't think you have to know much about the show either, which I only saw once when they did some crazy Poo Cocktail thing. It was a guy locked in a porto-potty and then they shook it up. That was enough for me.
Well going to see Jackass Number Two is kind of like being in your own poo cocktail. It's sadistic, damaging, grotesque, perverted and at points downright scary. If you are living under a rock or something then movies like this probably aren't going to even make it onto your radar, but for those who might want to know, the Jackass crew, lead by Johnny Knoxville do all kinds of crazy stunts and pranks. Basically the world is their playground, right? And what they do is kind of freaky.
Case in point, the movie opens with a puppet show where Chris Pontius (who are these guys anyway?) puts his penis in a sock that looks like a little mouse puppet. He then puts his penis puppet through a hole in a snake's cage. So haha, right? It gets even better/evil. Johnny Knoxville then provokes the snake until it's clear how this puppet show is going to end. I don't even have a penis, and it hurt to watch. Jake and Tippen just laughed alot. And I have to admit I laughed some too.
There's a great running gag where director Spike Jonz dresses up as a really wretched version of Cloris Leachman and the whole purpose is that he eventually exposes her skank, sagging breasts. He does this in public like all over. He does it to kids, adults at a restaurant, and um, other kids. It's like the perfect blend of sad and funny. There's also another bit where Johnny Knoxville dons make up himself to become the world's worst grandfather, but Knoxville isn't even the funniest part of that skit, instead it's the little freak who plays his grandson! And it is kind of funny that all these guys have enough of a sense of humor that they can let their friends lock them in a cattle trailer with a king cobra or have a make up artist put a fake beard on them made of pubic hairs, and still laugh about it at the end of the day.
But the thing is, and I know this is totally the point, but I mean things kind of go too far. I nearly puked the first time when Steve O puts a big fish hook through his own cheak on camera and jumps into the ocean that's full of real scary sharks, but add that to on screen pooping, horse jizz swilling, and beer butt bongs, and I was pretty sick. So yeah. The Jackass guys got to me. They succeeded in doing what they do best, which is grossing out guys' girlfriends the world over while the guys laugh so hard they pee themselves a little. Bravo, I hope every blow to your crotches was worth the trip, but I am with Bam Margera on this one when he says, "Man I hope there's no Jackass 3."
Thanks Bam.
